What is happiness?
When you are young, you think you can conquer anything in the world. After my 25th birthday I started to realize that things were not so easy…
I was rather successful in my career, and there were things I could be proud of, but my personal life was not going so well. Neither of my admirers matched my image of an ideal man – my dad. Unconsciously, I tried to find someone like him. I had gotten a lot older. I was already 35, when I got pennies from heaven – a baby.
The pregnancy was complicated; the only thing that helped me to overcome it was my enormous wish to give birth to that small creature. Oh, I wished to deliver the baby as soon as possible. I was completely run-down, could not endure anymore. How stupid I was. I then got what I had asked for: I gave birth prematurely. I delivered at 7 months. Premature and impetuous birth.
The gloomy faces of the doctors: "The situation is really serious, almost hopeless"…
The world around me turned upside down. There are two things I remember: the medical wall in front of me and my neighbors’ endless blabbing.
Only one thought went through my mind: I suffered a chorus of protests, pregnancy toxicosis and the labor. What for? Was everything in vain? Have my hopes about a small miracle, that would grow up and conquer the world, and do all what I had failed to do…disappeared? Had all my hopes been in vain?
The doctor kept vigil over my baby girl for 3 days. The only aim of my life – was to wait for her visit and to see her eyes. And each day she would say the same horrible words: “The situation is serious, almost hopeless”.
On the 4th day she said the same – but added one small thing: “Though the first crisis is over”…. Her eyes!!! The doctor’s eyes were full of light and hope!!! I saw that she was afraid to promise too much, but everything was not so bad now. She said goodbye and went home at last. My heart leapt with joy and jumped up into my throat. I sat on the bed and began saying something to my neighbors in a constrained voice, full of joyful tears. I saw their amazed looks. I understood that I looked foolish, but I could not stop. I spoke, laughed, cried and cried again. Then I sprang up and began to walk, I went on crying and breathing deeply.
My girl will live. My happiness, my life, my future. She will LIVE.